Only Love (The Atonement Duet Book 2) Read online

  Colin took a deep breath, took her gently by her upper arms, and squeezed slightly. “Deirdre was just upset. I’ll talk to her and get your job back. She’s just being a bitch because she can, and it didn’t exactly thrill her when you opened the front door to my house. In the meantime, I’ll give you some money to tide you over until you’re rehired. Is five thousand okay?”

  Colin could see the wheels of greed turn in her mind as Cassie’s brown eyes widened with glee. She licked her lips in what she likely thought was a seductive manner. “That should be fine. It’s more than I make in a couple of months’ worth of work!”

  “As I said, I will take care of you. To lessen the burden on you, you’re free to move in here until we can find you a decent apartment in the area.”

  She stepped back and crossed her arms against her breasts. “Are you crazy? Do you know how much the average one bedroom is in a decent part of town? I’m not rich like the crowd you grew up around and there is no way I could afford to pay the rent.”

  Colin did his best not to roll his eyes, forcing a tight smile to his lips. “I will take care of it. Call it a gift from your significant other.”

  Cassie turned the charm on quickly and sidled up to him, wrapping her slender arms around his neck. “You are just too sweet to me. How can I ever repay your generosity? No boyfriend I have ever had has ever been so kind to me.”

  “Don’t mention it. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t genuinely want you to be happy.”

  “In that case, can I show my appreciation by taking you to bed? You can make love to me all night long,” she cooed playfully, biting his earlobe.

  “I can’t think of a better way to spend the evening.”

  The ironic part about his comment was he genuinely meant it. If he was having sex with Cassie then he wouldn’t think about Deirdre’s deception and for a small moment in time, he would be at peace with himself and what he had allowed to happen in their relationship.

  ***

  Although their lovemaking should have lasted for a while, two hours later, Colin was dressed in a pair of ripped black jeans and a faded black Rolling Stones t-shirt. Cassie was still lying in his bed, asleep, while he drank another double shot of Macallan and reached for his phone to call his brother.

  Liam answered on the second ring. “What’s up?” he said without the usual preliminaries.

  “Deirdre came to see me. She basically told me she has no use for me and we will never be a couple again,” Colin said, swigging from his whiskey. “I’m so broken up about everything, I have no idea what to do. I really did think we would have another chance. I can’t believe she would treat me this way over some man she barely knows.”

  “Well, she didn’t know you either but it didn’t stop her from hopping into bed with you shortly after you two met.”

  “That’s beside the point. Drake is nothing but bad news. He has connections to a goddamn mafia family for God’s sake, and she sees nothing wrong with that. He took her to Mexico a month ago to pick up drugs and disguised it as a romantic getaway for the day. I told her about it and she doesn’t care. She doesn’t want me and now I am stuck in a situation that angers me. It wasn’t supposed to be this way!”

  Liam laughed. “It never is but what can you do? Perhaps you need to give her some space so she can see the situation properly. It can’t be easy with you crowding her all the time.”

  “I don’t crowd her. The only time we see each other is at work. Unfortunately, she had to choose today of all days to come by my house and Cassie was here. I think it gave her some sort of sick fascination to tell me we’re through. She told me to have a nice life with my current squeeze in no uncertain terms,” Colin explained passionately. “How come she gets to get laid but the moment I do it, I am evil personified and don’t deserve a second chance? It’s pure lunacy.”

  “Well, all’s not set in stone yet. According to Drew, they haven’t slept together. Drake is very…serious about her and wants it to be special. In this case, you are kind of screwed because she has only been dating someone while you are in a full- fledged relationship with another woman. What do you expect her to do? And the anger was good. It means she still cares about you and was a bit dismayed you could just find someone else so quickly.”

  “I didn’t find someone else, Liam. I am merely getting my rocks off. Cassie means nothing to me,” Colin growled.

  “Then maybe you shouldn’t have been foolish enough to let your ex catch her at your house. I’m not saying it can’t work out, but you have some major groveling to do if you want to get Deirdre back. Face it, baby bro. This involves more than you and your love. You have to make everything okay, because if you don’t then we can’t just have her running around knowing what she knows.”

  Colin paused with the glass inches from his mouth. “What exactly are you trying to say? If we don’t end up together then she has to die? I won’t be involved in anything like that, Liam. Her father’s death already eats me alive. I can’t cause that kind of damage to anyone else, let alone the woman I love.”

  “I didn’t say anything about murder or killing anyone for Christ’s sake. She’s involved with dangerous people, so if I wanted something to happen to her, I would let them do it and we wouldn’t—”

  “Seriously, you could do that and not feel a shred of guilt? You are engaged to her sister for fuck’s sake. The child she carried and lost was yours, not mine! I never thought the day would come you could be so cold and heartless. How can you sleep at night?”

  “I will have you know I sleep just fine. In no way was I suggesting we kill her. You jumped to that conclusion and it is entirely unnecessary.” Liam paused and breathed into the phone. “Caitlyn has already warned her sister in no uncertain terms that if she says anything to anyone they will no longer have a relationship. Believe me, Deirdre isn’t willing to risk the only family she has left.”

  Colin let out a breath. “Thank God for small favors. I am asking you now, as my older and wiser brother, what can I do to convince Deirdre I still want her and would like to gain her trust again? I love her with all my heart and she constantly rejects me. I can only deal with so much and I feel as if…I’m on the edge of a cliff. I need to get Drake out of the way, damn it, and I have no idea how to accomplish that. I am completely at a loss here and I don’t like where my emotions are taking me.”

  Liam laughed. “You always were the sensitive one. I think you inherited all your feelings from Mom and nothing from our father. I will put you out of your misery once and for all. If you really want Deirdre and are willing to do whatever it takes to get her, then use Drake’s weaknesses against him. She will see in no time he is nothing but trouble and will bring her little besides heartache and pain.”

  Colin paced the sitting room and swallowed the rest of his whiskey. “Okay, how can I possibly convince her of that?”

  “Go to the source,” Liam said. “Drake’s greatest love in La Jolla was Mikayla Shevchenko. Imagine how much dirt she has on him. Her family must be holding something over his head, or why would he be making a drug run for them in Mexico? You want dirt on this guy Deirdre has fallen head over heels with, then simply go where you must. It might mean beginning an affair with her, so be ready to get rid of this chick you’re shacked up with because I have a feeling she is the type who doesn’t like to share.”

  It was Colin’s turn to laugh as he poured himself another whiskey. “That, my dear brother, won’t be hard at all. Cassie is already a distant memory. Pity she doesn’t know it yet.”

  They ended their call and before Colin returned to bed, he called Rouge and asked to speak to Ms. Shevchenko.

  “I’m afraid she is busy at the moment, sir,” the hostess said with professional courtesy.

  “Believe me, she’ll want to take this call.”

  “Hold please.”

  Colin was put on hold and had to listen to an awful Muzak edition of The Rolling Stones’ “Heart of Stone” before a California accented voice came o
n the line. It was silky, purring, and something told him she was as great in bed as her voice suggested.

  “Mikayla Shevchenko?”

  “Yes? Who is this?” the young woman demanded.

  “My name is Colin van der Meer and I have just realized that we should meet as soon as possible.”

  “Why is that?”

  “You want Drake back, don’t you?”

  “Now why would I tell a stranger any of my personal business, Mr. van der Meer?”

  “Because…I want my fiancée back. I think we have a lot to discuss.”

  Colin heard her talons hit the counter. “You’re right. We should meet very soon.”

  He leaned on the counter in his kitchen. “Name the time and the place.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I couldn’t deny how hard it was seeing Colin again. Him with that cheap slut took the cake. How could he have chosen someone like Cassie from the coffee shop? Was he that desperate for sex he’d started on the employees? The sooner he left for Seattle, the happier I would be.

  The last thing I wanted to do was go back to Drake’s place with any animosity or bad feelings. I went back to my condo first and had a long, hot shower, poured myself a stiff Absolut vodka, and swallowed a Xanax.

  By the time I dressed I felt like a million bucks and looked it too. I had kept my makeup to a minimum and pinned my hair into a French twist because I knew how much fun Drake would have taking it down.

  Although I had a key to his condo, like he had a key to my place, I still knocked. His place smelled delicious. He’d lit large candles everywhere and they all were scents of vanilla and various intoxicating spices. The fireplace was lit, making the place alive and cozy.

  “I’ll be right out!” Drake called to me as I sat on the sofa in his sitting room.

  I loved his condo. Whereas mine was sterile and cold, his was warm, filled with muted colors with names like peanut butter and sand, cream, brick, and caramel. The walls were painted in different, warm colors which were seductive and inviting. I couldn’t lie; every time I visited his place, I felt like I was coming home.

  Moments later, he walked into the sitting room wearing a pair of blue jeans ripped at the knees and a black wife-beater with his tats on display. They were works of art, interesting symbols, and every one of them meant something.

  He had a shamrock tattoo with the colors of the German flag to symbolize his German-Irish heritage on his left shoulder; a Celtic symbol meaning eternal love on his left forearm, while on his right forearm he had the Celtic symbol known as the “Knot of Eternity” which represented a closed cycle of life, death, and reincarnation. Along his shoulder blades was the phrase “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” in Japanese characters. Unlike a lot of Americans who ended up marking their body with phrases that were nonsensical in Chinese Mandarin, Cantonese, or Japanese characters, Drake knew the translation was correct because he had spent three years in Japan while his father was the American Ambassador to the country.

  It was touching he’d marked his body with events or symbols he felt were important in his life. At the same time, he wasn’t completely covered, and I was more than a little happy he didn’t have a tattoo sleeve. I didn’t mind a few here or there but there was certainly a case of going overboard and Drake had stopped before he reached that point.

  He leaned down and kissed my lips. “I thought for a moment you weren’t coming. I didn’t know if you’d changed your mind.”

  I shook my head. “Never would I have done that.” I looked away before his pale aquamarine eyes drew me in and commanded my attention. “I drove by Colin’s this evening and it was a major mistake. He has some skank he’s holed up with and I lost my temper. I didn’t want to come here angry so I took a shower and decided to change first.”

  He looked me up and down with stunning intensity. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thanks.”

  His lips pressed against mine and I welcomed the touch and feel of his skin. His warm hands caressed my neck, wandering lower, and he picked me up as if I weighed nothing.

  “I have been waiting for this moment for such a long time and I want it to be perfect for you too. I really hope I don’t disappoint you.”

  I slipped my arms around his neck and whispered into his ear, “You found me, the real me. Now show me what kind of man you are so I can find you too.”

  Drake walked to the bedroom with me in his arms. We couldn’t break eye contact even if we’d wanted to. I wanted to remember this moment between us for the rest of my life. He laid me on his California King bed and knelt down to take off my shoes. I sat up and palmed his face, kissing those luscious lips. His tongue sought out mine and the electricity between us was exquisite.

  He reached under my dress and clutched the dainty sides of my lacy thong. He pulled it off and set it on the bedside table to my utter mortification. Slowly, his hands parted my thighs and my sex was bared to him in all its glory.

  Drake leaned over and kissed me again, his thumb rubbing my clit while two fingers entered my depths and found my G-spot. I gasped and moaned into kiss. I was on the verge of orgasm after so many weeks of not sharing myself with another and he knew it too.

  However, he removed his fingers and I sat up. He kissed my neck and unzipped my dress, pulling it down to expose my breasts and my taut stomach which trembled with nerves every time he touched my skin. Surprisingly, I felt no shame, because this was hardly the first time I had been naked in front of a man and I desperately wanted to share my body with this one person.

  He stared at my breasts and caressed them gently, his thumbs pressing hard against the nipples. “Beautiful,” we whispered.

  I arched my back the moment I felt his mouth on my left nipple. It was so highly erotic I couldn’t describe it. His wet mouth moved from my left nipple to my right while his fingers played with my left nipple.

  This was a love I had never experienced before and I wished I could have been prepared for the intensity, but everything about us was an exploration of sorts. I had no idea what would happen or what to expect. This was an entirely new experience with another man.

  I allowed him to tease me only to a certain extent before I sat up and looked at him. “I want to see you naked.”

  Drake slipped off his wife-beater and unbuttoned his jeans. I saw the trail of dark hair from his navel when he stood and pushed them completely off. His cock was hard as a rock, scarlet, and fully engorged.

  I sank to my knees and grabbed hold of his manhood. He hissed, his breath labored. I opened my mouth and my tongue snaked out to tease the head of his cock and I tasted the salty-sweetness of his pre-cum. I teased the underside of him gently and slowly then I slipped his cock inside my mouth and began to work him in and out in a gentle caress.

  His hands gripped my hair, ruining my French twist when he fisted my hair. I allowed more and more of his cock between my parted lips until I was taking his whole length down my throat. It took more throat control than normal because he was long and thick. I had never been with a man who was as big as he was, and although there was nothing abnormal about his size, he was definitely the larger side of normal.

  I knew he was close, and he knew it too. He withdrew his length from my mouth and we both stood. He pressed his hardness to my body as he kissed me with a bruising and electric intensity I wasn’t used to. His tongue sought mine out with a genuine feeling of wanting there to be a connection between us and I sighed when we separated.

  Drake knelt before me, hitched my thigh on his shoulder, and he began to devour my sex, starting with my swollen clit. His mouth was a hungry, hot instrument that knew exactly where to suckle me while his fingers parted my sex like an exquisite flower and his tongue caressed the inside of me with gentle, probing thrusts.

  I could barely keep my balance as his tongue teased my perineum. He began to tongue fuck me again in slow, languishing movements that had me weak-kneed and unable to support my own weight.

  He sli
pped two of his own fingers into his mouth then continued to caress my clit with his hungry mouth. Those two fingers explored my anal area and I gasped in surprise. At first it stung, but something about the pain of what he was doing to my backside while teasing my clit brought a new kind of feeling to my body, and when I had an orgasm, it was blissful and completely unexpected.

  Drake laid me back on the bed, legs spread. My eyes were halfway closed and I heard the sound of a condom being unwrapped. It was lambskin, of course, because they were the only ones close enough to sex without protection and they were completely natural without any harsh lubricants. They also did nothing against protection when it came to sexually transmitted diseases and were merely to prevent pregnancy.

  I felt the mushroom tip of his cock at my opening and he slowly pushed his way through and deeply inside of me. There was pain and pleasure, so much exquisite pain, but the pleasure was delicious and incredibly satisfying. I couldn’t help but want the weight of his body pressed against mine as he fucked me.

  Finally, I opened my eyes and looked deeply into his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. His weight made me feel safe, and though he was still inside of me, we continued to gaze at one another, and for the first time, I could truly see him as a person and I knew he saw me too.

  Our lips found each other’s in a sensuous game and we kissed passionately, deeply, our tongues caressing in a beautiful game of pleasure.

  His hips met mine with each determined thrust and I welcomed the delicious assault on my wet sex, swollen with longing and need. It made me feel alive and it solidified what we had together. We were officially together, and this was no longer a game. We’d shared each other’s bodies and given of ourselves freely because it felt right and so beautiful and hypnotic.

  When Drake began to thrust deeper and deeper into me and said he was going to come, I was ready. His cock was like a smooth running piston and his thumb played with my clit so precisely that as he began to orgasm, so did I.