Only Love (The Atonement Duet Book 2) Page 9
I had no idea he was such a health nut so we got along just fine. He was an excellent cook and knew how to prepare almost anything, and being with him was a culinary delight.
“Are you having a good time?” Drake asked me with a slight worry in his voice.
“You’re joking, right? I’ve been having a great time with you and this is one of the best days of my life. Thank you.”
He took his eyes off the road for just a moment and I tried not to look into his eyes. Everything about this man was magnetic and I found myself drawn to him more and more regardless how much I fought it.
The rest of the way was a very comfortable silence and it only seemed to strengthen the bond between us. I barely noticed when we entered the scenic toll road of Ensenada-Rosarito. Drake informed me why we were paying to use this stretch of highway and I found it breathtaking and worth every peso.
We didn’t drive for very long before he pulled into a small parking area. He got out and was at my door before I realized it, his hands holding mine. We stood there as a soft breeze flowed by and the sun shined in his eyes. I could see every color of his irises and the stubble on his chin. His skin up close was smooth with small pores, and his complexion already looked gently sun-kissed.
“Let me show you something extremely beautiful, and the reason I brought you out here. And it’s not my face.” I grinned. “Well aren’t you the arrogant bastard?”
“Not really. I guess I’m sexy because I have no shortage of women, but you are breathtaking right now. That dress, your skin, those eyes. You should see the way the green and gold have mixed to create this exotic mélange and they take my breath away…more than the view I’m about to show you.”
Drake turned me around and slipped his arm around my waist. We passed a few other couples but my line of sight kept wandering to the sexy man next to me and I couldn’t get over how much charisma he had. No wonder why he’d captured me so quickly and without a lot of effort. He brought me to beautiful locales and treated me to lovely meals.
Colin had done all of this too but with Drake everything just felt right. While I still had feelings for my ex-fiancé, the more time I spent in Drake’s presence, the less I seemed to care about Colin as a significant other. I still loved him and he would always be my friend, but what happened when the love died concerning physical attraction?
I wouldn’t know for certain until I saw him again at work. I did know he didn’t make me feel the same and I certainly didn’t get that shiver inching its way down my back like I did when Drake touched me. Colin felt simply like a good friend. Somehow, I couldn’t—or perhaps I didn’t want to—bridge that gap between us. Maybe I was more than happy with us maintaining a platonic relationship and a romance between us wasn’t meant to be.
Chapter Twelve
Drake and I reached a white wall with half-moon crescents cut out and decorative rock that was colorful and breathtaking to behold.
“Look through there,” he told me.
I walked forward, careful not to get my dress dirty, and leaned my head through. Drake held my waist from behind to steady me, and I felt the hardness of his body against my back.
It was almost a surprise he hadn’t tried anything as lewd as possessing a hard-on while he gripped me but his whole body was firm though his manhood was soft. He was merely concerned with my safety and not “copping a quick feel” on my ass which was refreshing.
I peered through and the sight that greeted me was beautiful and beyond stunning. Mountainous forests decorated the gorgeous backdrop of a body of water so blue it looked cobalt.
“You’re at the famous scenic location of El Mirador. If you look into the distance, you can see the Pacific Ocean. The body of water directly beneath us is Bahía Todos Santos, or All Saints Bay in English. It’s stunning scene, isn’t it? Every time I have been here, it takes my breath away,” he explained, his voice in my ear and his minted breath gently caressing my cheek.
I couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy knowing he’d brought some other woman here, yet it wasn’t my place to be anything but in the here and now. Those other women didn’t matter now.
“This is just beautiful,” I breathed.
My words didn’t do the place justice. It was all I could say without that wanting between my legs spreading into full bloom. My vagina was like a withered flower being opened for the first time in forever. My breasts felt heavy with need and my nipples hardened as Drake’s hands trailed from the base of my neck all the way down my clothed back.
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t felt him pull back slightly until a chill met me and I realized he was just as transfixed by the atmosphere and sudden sexual tension it caused between the two of us.
It took everything in me not to turn around. He didn’t give me the choice and whipped me around to face him. My breasts were suddenly crushed against his hard chest and all I could think about was what it would be like to share a bed with a man as virile and sexy as he was at that very moment.
I cleared my throat just to give myself some room to breathe. “So, you have brought other women here before. Is this part of your seduction scene?”
Although my words were meant to bite, they came out playful and he laughed throatily. “Absolutely not, babe. When I am ready to seduce you, believe me, you’ll know, and I won’t leave a shred of room for ambiguity.”
“At least you’re honest. I am assuming you brought Mikayla here if it’s one of your favorite spots in the world?”
“Yes, but she didn’t see the beauty here that you do. It was just a place with rocks, mountains, a bay, and the ocean. This isn’t really what turned Kayla on. Money did…and if it’s not flowing then she isn’t willing to do much of anything sexual. It’s just the way she is and I accepted that while we were dating. I will never settle for anything less than what I want ever again.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. “What do you consider less?”
“You…me…this…us. We both can see the beauty of this place and that is a lovely way to bond. This country is so misunderstood and has many hidden treasures. I want to share them all with you if you’ll let me. I also know you need to be ready and I don’t want to rush you to do anything you aren’t ready to do on your own.”
He paused and the long, tapered fingers of his right hand lifted my chin to bring us to eye level. “I know how much you have been hurt in the past. I can see it in your eyes. Everything that happened between you and Colin is much too fresh. I wouldn’t dream of hurting you the way he did. You will have to learn to appreciate me for the man that I am and you will learn to respect me as an individual. Only then can there be the love we need to push this relationship forward in the right direction.”
I stared into his eyes and before I knew it, my lips were pressed gently against his and we kissed. It was electric, the touch of skin to skin glorious.
Drake opened his mouth and his tongue slipped between my closed lips. I did the same, and when our tongues touched and the feeling between us deepened, the emotions blossomed into an ever flowing energy I couldn’t stop and neither could he.
His hands were in my hair and my chignon fell apart. His fingers gently caressed my scalp and brought me in closer and deeper. I was falling hard and there was nowhere to go but deeper into him. The thought was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
I never thought I would be able to trust a man again. Now I realized how wrong I’d been. I was slowly falling for Drake I could feel the need grow more insistent for me to know him, and to love him.
While our feelings weren’t unique, the way I felt about him was, and in the short amount of time I’d known him, I needed to know more, feel more, do more with him than any other man. My heart was slowly starting to heal from the lies and deceit Colin had left behind. Would I leave any room for him at all?
***
Drake and I drove back to Ensenada for dinner and enjoyed a seafood delight by the beach with tropical
alcoholic beverages, laughter, and plenty of conversation.
“I hope you had fun exploring the wonders of the country,” he said over appetizers of seafood stuffed mushrooms.
“I had a blast. I don’t want you to think I don’t travel because I do. I’ve been to almost every part of Western Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, and few countries in Central and South America including Panama, Costa Rica, Belize, Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay, and Chile.” I sipped from the crisp champagne courtesy of a perfectly aged bottle of Dom Perignon.
“I never thought you were the type that wouldn’t have traveled. I know all about the European vacation you took this past summer with Colin.” Drake rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Drew told me. That man can’t keep much of anything to himself. He was pretty broken up about you leaving him for Colin.”
I laughed out loud. “Drew can be so melodramatic. We weren’t together and haven’t been for a very long time. What we happened to be was a bootie call to each other when we were in between relationships. Colin was my first relationship since Drew and I’m sure you know he was my first love.”
“It never occurred to you he might be the one? Drew I mean.”
I shook my head. “Not really. I stopped living in that dream world around the time I was twenty-five or so. I didn’t expect Colin to be the ‘one’ either and I was surprised when everything happened between us so fast. It definitely felt more like lust as opposed to love looking back. While I do love him, I don’t want to be in a relationship with him, at least not in a romantic way.”
Drake wiped his mouth and finished his champagne in one large gulp. “What made up your mind?”
“The pregnancy,” I said softly, more to myself than to him.
“That must have been a surprise.”
“It’s because I was—and still am—on birth control. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew it would never work.”
“I am not sure I understand.”
I downed the rest of my champagne. “The baby wasn’t Colin’s. Not biologically. You see, I had a one night stand with Liam before the two of us got together. I was horny and he wanted me. Truth be told, I wanted him just as badly. He hadn’t started to date my sister yet and we were both free agents.
“He claimed he used condoms but I think he must have been slipping them off even. I couldn’t marry Colin and not tell him the truth, and I knew how he would react. It didn’t make a difference the pregnancy shouldn’t have ever happened, he would have secretly thought I did it to trap him.”
Drake stared at me incredulously. “Colin is in love with you. With the way he is chasing you down like you’re the only woman in the world, you truly believe he would have abandoned you?”
“Yes, I do.” I pursed my lips and glared at Drake though I was hardly angry with him. “Colin doesn’t really want me, he’s convinced himself he can’t live without me. He knows the truth and he said he ‘forgave me’ as if I was waiting for some forgiveness from him. If anyone should be on their knees apologizing and begging, it should be him, not me.”
Drake refilled our champagne flutes and I knew I had said more than I should have. It really wasn’t any of his business what happened between Colin and me. I couldn’t tell him about my father, could I? It would be the ultimate way to show I trusted him. Ultimately I decided I wouldn’t ruin this dinner.
Drake sensed the change in me and quickly moved on to another, more pleasant subject. We finished up dinner and although I drank too much, by the time we were heading back to his car, I felt giddy and happy. It was a great feeling. I knew he wouldn’t try anything even if I should have stopped after several glasses of champagne. I certainly didn’t need those two mojitos but I’d drank them anyway.
He turned on a CD by Robin Thicke and before I knew it, I was asleep. He touched my shoulder ever so softly and I awoke to see we were back in La Jolla, and it was shortly after eleven pm.
“Whose place are we staying at tonight?” he asked.
I smiled in my sleepy-drunken feeling. “We can sleep at your place. It’s much nicer than mine.”
I stepped out of the car and followed him back to his place. He loaned me an oversized t-shirt with a faded photo of Eminem on the front with a list of concert dates and cities on the back.
I didn’t have on a bra, pulled the dress of, and slid on the t-shirt.
Drake cleared his throat loudly.
“Sorry. I know you have seen more pairs of tits than you can count so I didn’t think you’d care if you saw mine.”
“Actually, I have seen a lot of breasts but that doesn’t mean I wanted the first time I saw yours to be under these circumstances. You’re exquisite and I don’t want to ruin what we have between us with meaningless sex. I like you a lot but would you believe it if I told you I want to get to know you better before we sleep together?”
“I wasn’t trying to tempt you. I…can’t sleep with anyone at the moment because of the miscarriage. It will be at least a couple of weeks before I would be in any kind of shape to share myself with another. However, I must admit that as much I hate to think about it, you’re starting to get under my skin and I am not sure how I feel about that.”
How would he react? Drake proclaimed he liked me a lot and said his feelings for me were more than friendly. What did that mean exactly? I knew how I felt for him and in my mind, Colin and me rekindling our relationship was becoming less and less of a possibility. As much as I loved the man who would have been my husband, I could never get over the deception and the devastation he and his brother had caused in my life as well as my sister’s and my mother’s.
None of us would ever be the same, hence the reason Caitlyn clung to Liam so anxiously and my mother could barely leave the house, let alone communicate with either my sister or I on a regular basis.
“I figured as much, Deirdre. I know how much you have been hurt, and regardless whether you want to tell me the whole truth or not, Colin betrayed you and you won’t ever be free until you share what he’s done to you. When the time comes, I truly hope the person you decide to confide in is me.”
The tears began to form and before I knew it, I was sobbing on Drake’s shoulder, my makeup ruining his expensive silk shirt. He had taken me in his arms and began to comfort me like no one had ever done before.
My phone rang, breaking the moment of intimacy between us. I backed away from him, grabbed my purse, and took out my phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me.” Caitlyn sounded distressed, yet cold at the same time.
“Yes, I know by the ringtone it was you who was calling. Listen, this isn’t really a good time and I’m quite busy at the mom—”
“I have one question for you and I will let you get back to your busy life. Did you know?”
“Know what?” I snapped back at her cryptic question, though I had a sinking feeling I knew damn well what she was talking about.
“Don’t play Miss Innocent with me!” Caitlyn screeched. “I want to know if you knew about Liam and Colin, and how they were involved with Daddy’s accident? A simple yes or no will suffice.”
My breathing became labored and I left the room because I couldn’t answer, not when Drake was staring at me so intently and knew whatever we were talking about was serious.
I walked into his kitchen and leaned on the countertop. “Yes, I knew. It’s the major reason why I left Colin. I couldn’t be married to him knowing what he did. It’s true…I forgave him for a while, but I know me. I know in a few years I will grow to hate him because he still has his freedom and his life while Mother is falling apart and justice hasn’t been served for anyone. We are all so broken up about Dad’s death still. Why should he get a free pass? What makes him so special?”
Caitlyn didn’t answer immediately but I heard her quietly sobbing. “Is that what you think I should do with Liam? Should I leave him too?”
I shook my head though I knew my sister couldn’t see it. “I’m not going to tell you what to do
, Cait. That’s on you and what you think is best for your peace of mind. If you are happy staying in a relationship with Liam then by all means do it. I didn’t tell you because I knew a part of you would always hate me if I did. Besides, it wasn’t my place. He should have told you his involvement in the accident, not me.”
“If you say something cheesy like you were trying to spare my feelings, I swear to God I will hang up on you,” she retorted coldly.
“I didn’t do it to spare your feelings. I didn’t tell you because Liam and Colin did all the damage, and since you are going out with the person who was driving the car that night, he should tell you how and why he ran over our father. He was drunk and on Bath Salts. They knew what they did and they decided not to go to the police. Hell, he destroyed evidence by putting his car in the worst area of town so it could be stolen and he called the police the next day to report the theft.
“I could describe Liam with a whole phone book of adjectives but ‘stupid’ and ‘inept’ aren’t two words I would use. He has our father’s death on his conscience and now that he has told you, maybe he felt a little better, but he does realize he is putting himself in major danger? You could go to the police and have the investigation re-opened. There isn’t a statute of limitations on murder in any state.”
Caitlyn snorted. “Don’t you realize that is why he told me? I don’t want him to go to prison for what he did. I don’t want to see his name ruined or dragged through the mud. I love this man for Christ’s sake. I plan to marry him. He asked me tonight at dinner and I said yes. He already had the ring picked out from Cartier and it’s beautiful. Why would I want my husband to have a criminal record?”
I walked into Drake’s sitting room and sat on the sofa. “Wow, you are some piece of work. Already, you couldn’t dare turn against your future husband?”
“Well I didn’t see you exactly backing away from Colin and telling anyone what happened so don’t try to act so high and mighty!” “I did have an issue with it and I still do. Why do you think we aren’t together? I don’t think I could make a life with him, knowing what I know. He would have been better off not telling me at all.”