The Will to Love Read online

  Will thrust himself inside her and began to move his hips in a rhythm that was rough and punishing before he would slow down to stop himself from coming and intentionally hit all the right places inside her tight pussy. She clenched her muscles around his cock and he could feel his orgasm, ever elusive until this point, approach with no fucking help from Grant.

  Fuck!

  Why did he think about that motherfucker’s name?

  All he saw now every time he closed his eyes was Grant’s lips wrapped around his cock while he jacked himself off at the same time. He didn’t want to think about those gorgeous lips sucking him dry like a fucking hoover. His throat muscles clenching possessively around Will’s hard dick and milking an orgasm from him like it was the easiest thing in the world.

  Laurel moaned again. “Fuck, I’m gonna come again!”

  And this time she took Will over the edge with her while all he saw were mesmerizing blue-gray eyes surrounded by black eyeliner milking his cock until he’d damn near gone semi-soft.

  “OKAY, WHAT DO you guys think?”

  Will felt like he’d spent most of the day half in his head and half in the real world.

  After he’d finished fucking Laurel, he got out of bed, took a shower and dressed quickly since he was due at the studio for a meeting.

  He’d left, and drove to the studio where he met up with all of his band mates.

  Once he got there, he and Grant had glanced into one another’s direction occasionally but everyone was busy digesting the news they’d just received from Paul Branson, their financial manager.

  Vogue Hotel, Spa and Casino had offered them a two year contract to play in Vegas. What was their general thoughts about leaving L.A. and moving to the City of Sin for a couple years?

  “It’s perfect if I may say so because the fans would come to see us instead of the other way around,” he said without thinking. “I’m sick of living here and I could do with a change of scenery.”

  “I can’t go.” Jaden looked toward the ground before he faced his mates with bright amber eyes. “I mean, to this meeting in Vegas, but you know what my answer is. I’m all for a change, man.”

  Grant rolled his eyes. “I need to bring Sasha because I want to run it by her. It’s a huge decision, Kaz. We will be stuck at one place for two years and yeah, that means no travelling but a concert is a concert. They are still exhausting never the less.”

  “Yeah, but they’re less exhausting when done in one place.” Will silenced Grant with a cold, blue-eyed look.

  “I guess…I mean, I’m just the drummer of this motherfuckin’ band so I guess I don’t get a fuckin’ opinion.”

  “Jesus, you two are worse than Faith—shut the fuck up and just listen for fuck’s sake. It’s a deal. Nothing is set in stone yet and we might not even agree to take it. It’s a free weekend in Vegas. Stop your pissin’ and moanin’.”

  “Why aren’t you going again?” Grant wondered out loud as he stuffed his hands into his slightly baggy gray jeans. “I mean, if you say it’s Talia’s pregnancy, I’m gonna call bullshit. You don’t care that much about her. You can’t even leave that crack whore you’re with to be with the mother of your child. Damn, I know you were born and raised in a motorcycle club and all but do you always have to act like the white trash stereotype, man? You’re like a fuckin’ reject from the Jerry Springer show—”

  “Enough!” Kaz glared at each of them before his gaze rested on Will’s eyes. “If Jaden needs to stay here because he doesn’t want to be away from Talia then that’s cool because I’m not bringing Syd and our brother is in town. I don’t want him there but Syd think’s it’s just peachy he stay with us.”

  “Fuck that shit.” Jaden stood and began to pace. “You know why Cillian wants to stay with your old lady and it’s got nothin’ to do with keepin’ her safe. He’ll be fuckin’ her before you get to Vegas. That man has no shame and now that he and Brianna are on the outs, that’s just a disaster waitin’ to happen.”

  Grant snickered. “Every woman isn’t like the skank you date. Syd wouldn’t do that to you, man.”

  “Agreed.” Will gazed at Jaden in disgust before he met Kaz’s concerned aquamarine eyes. “Syd is loyal and after everything you two have been through, she’s in love with you. She doesn’t even look at other men.”

  “Yeah, I know…but I don’t trust Cillian, and if you knew our brother, you wouldn’t trust him around your woman either. Not alone. It’s that fuckin’ Irish accent, and the women drop their panties for him in an instant. Plus, he doesn’t look like a biker. In fact, he looks like a movie star version of our father and no matter how much he tries to scruff himself up, he can’t. He’s just blessed and we all know he’s considered the most attractive out of all of us.”

  “Sorry but I don’t have much sympathy.” Grant swigged from a bottle of Evian. “There isn’t one ugly Cox brother and your sisters are gorgeous. Your family was blessed with good looks, genetically—”

  “True, but we are fucked in other ways as you can see from Jaden’s situation. There’s always been a weakness for pussy and the brothers have a tendency to poach on one another’s territory although we shouldn’t.” Kaz began to pace as if he needed to do anything other than just stand there and talk about their impending contract that was in the works.

  “Why can’t Syd come along?” Will regretted his question as soon as he asked it as their lead singer’s icy blue-green eyes gazed into his direction.

  “First of all, she’s suffering from morning sickness and second of all, she never got over the tour. She won’t want to travel and she’s definitely not going to be gung ho about moving to Vegas.”

  “Wait just a damned minute. Since when did bitches start havin’ a say in what happens to our group?” Jaden growled. “You think I give a fuck what either Talia or Faith thinks about our move if and when we decide to make it? They’re just along for the ride and should be grateful we’re allowing them to come with us. Vegas is brimmin’ with pussy and why should we give a fuck what they want? It’s our career and we’re bringin’ in the money.”

  “Dude, Syd is an heiress—she doesn’t need Kaz’s money,” Grant replied as he sat down on a stool casually.

  “Not to mention she’s pregnant with my fucking child and comes from a family where male members—other than her grandfather—aren’t that highly regarded.” Will watched as Kaz stepped to Jaden and grabbed him by his shirt with both hands. “Do you think I want my son left here in L.A. while I’m in Vegas? Unlike you, I do give a fuck and that’s my goddamn family you’re talking about, bro. Syd isn’t fuckin’ replaceable, you feel me?”

  “Yeah, I’m feelin’ ya.” Jaden stepped back as Kaz let go.

  “Is this meeting done because I gotta get home and let Laurel know about our change of plans for the weekend.”

  “Yeah, it is but…stick around for a minute. I wanna talk to you. Jaden, I’m not finished with you so wait for me in the lobby.”

  Everyone took that as their cue they were dismissed except for Will who began to pace and wondered what this was about.

  Kaz was capable of a lot but he had always been the fearless leader who kept Scarlet Fever together regardless. He was the driving force and his ambition alone had landed them where they were. Whether it was his fucked up childhood or proving something to his biological old man, he’d been determined the group make it and they’d done just that.

  They were extremely successful with fans all over the world. Their new album, Nothing Lasts Forever, was progressing along at a great pace, and they would have no problem making their release date.

  Despite Will’s close relationship to Grant, which had been an open secret among the band members, they never allowed their personal lives to affect their professional persona and they never would compromise the group.

  Yes, they’d called off what they had together personally but it had fuck all to do with the band and he’d never allow it to either.

  So why the hell wa
s their fearless leader making a mountain out of a goddamn molehill? Although Will was the youngest in the band, he was still an adult. He didn’t understand why Kaz had decided to chastise him like a little boy when his opinion was neither needed nor warranted for the matter.

  “What is it?” Will sat back down on a nearby stool and glared at the lead singer who continued to pace back and forth like a caged animal.

  “Grant told me what happened and…I just assumed you’d be upset about the change in your relationship status.”

  “Relationship status? What Grant and I had was on the down low. My relationship is with Laurel, and that is progressing just fine.” Will couldn’t help the condescension in his voice; he was a bit peeved Kaz had the balls to ask about his personal life at all.

  What? Just because he was a gay man dating a straight woman, did that reserve his role in the band from bassist to resident freak?

  Kaz sat across from him on a stool and was silent for a beat. “Listen, we all knew you and Grant were in a serious relationship…call it what you want and pretend Laurel means something to you but don’t lead her on because you’re scared of being alone. I’ve spoken to Dominic at Introspect and although he wasn’t exactly gung ho about the idea, he agrees you’re free to out yourself if that is what’s needed to make you happy.”

  Will shook his head. “Thanks for goin’ to bat for me but seriously, if I thought it was anyone’s fuckin’ business what my sexual orientation was, I would have ousted myself a long time ago. I’m not afraid for the public to know I’m gay but at the same time, I don’t think anyone would truly understand my relationship with Laurel either.

  “She isn’t a ‘beard’, Kaz. We have sex like any other ‘normal’ couple and she understood my friendship with Grant—”

  “No offense, buddy, but I don’t fuck my friends. If that’s all you want to consider Grant then fine, who am I to define what you two were to each other? I’m speaking purely from a professional point of view. If you need s substitute for Grant, we can’t have you pullin’ a ‘George Michael,’ know what I mean?”

  “What. The. Fuck.” Will stood and began to pace. “Listen, my sexuality is no different from yours, Kaz! What I had with Grant can’t simply be duplicated or replaced with someone else. I won’t be pullin’ random guys just because I need to ‘get off.’ In case you’ve forgotten, I have a significant other and Laurel satisfies me just fine. I don’t need to go on the hunt for random guys to fuck.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest you would be that sloppy, Will.” He stood and stepped in front of him just to stop him from pacing. “Listen…I know what you two meant to one another and although I certainly don’t condone what you put Laurel through, she entered whatever arrangement you two have with her eyes fucking open. If I feel bad for anyone, it’s Sasha because Grant wasn’t honest with her.”

  Will sat back down on the stool and thought about how he desperately needed a joint. This conversation had begun to do his head in, and not in a good way. “Yeah, I know. So does Laurel and she never told her sister anything. Perhaps he didn’t think she could handle it.”

  Kaz shook his head and his mood slowly turned maudlin. “I don’t think that’s it at all. I think he was afraid if she knew the truth, she would leave him.” Will glanced into those pools of troubled blue. “Kind of like how I won’t tell Syd the truth about my adolescent years because I’m afraid of how she’ll act. She’s okay going out with me knowin’ I’m a rocker but if she knew the truth…about Dizzy and how much influence he really had on my life, I’m afraid she would leave me.”

  “Well then maybe it’s time you tell her the truth before Cillian or Talia does. They both know and they would like to do nothing more than to hurt you. Not so much Talia because she has her own demons but…I wouldn’t trust your older brother as far as I could throw him and I’ve only met him once.”

  Will paused before he continued. “No one’s family is perfect and if you truly love Syd, you’ll tell her the truth or risk losing everything you two have fought for. Make no mistake, I am a lot of things, including a douchebag cheater as far as most women are concerned, but I never hid who I was from Laurel. If she leaves me, it’s because she did have all the facts and still wasn’t comfortable. Not because I wasn’t honest.”

  Kaz looked away before he stared in Will’s direction again. “I would love to tell Syd the truth but I fear we’ve passed the point of no return.”

  Will dug his car fob out of his pocket as he stood to his feet. “Then, that, my friend, is a problem.”

  Chapter Three

  Laurel

  I met Sasha at the pretentious Calienté for lunch and wondered what I would order, I’d been there so often. My sister was early as usual, glued to her Samsung Note—otherwise known as her business phone—while she spoke with Dominic in hushed tones.

  We both owned Ulysse Nardins—a pricier phone that started in the low five figures for a cheap model—for personal use.

  Once I sat down, a waiter appeared out of nowhere and took my order, I opted for a glass of Pinot Grigio while my sister stuck to a bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water. I waited patiently and checked my Gmail account while she spoke on the phone. I knew it was important by the way she scrunched up her face occasionally before she responded to his questions in a quiet voice I could barely make out.

  After an interminable amount of time where I had a chance to also check my Facebook newsfeed and Twitter account, she finally ended the call and put her oversized Note into her stylish, black leather Birkin.

  “Do you know anything about Will deciding to ‘come out of the closet?’”

  My heart seemed to thud fiercely in my chest as I felt my throat close up on me and I found it hard to breathe.

  Will was deciding to come out as a homosexual?

  What did that mean for our relationship and did he view me as a ‘beard?’

  No, that couldn’t possibly be true, not after the mind blowing sex we had earlier that day. There was no faking involved and those orgasms had been as real as any of the ones I’d ever experienced with Will. It was ironic but it had taken a gay man to teach me how great sex could be and up until that moment, although I had an active sex life with plenty of attractive men, my sex life had been more or less “meh.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I swigged from my white wine for much needed fortitude. “When Will left, he had a meeting with the guys after their recording session. He didn’t say anything to me about coming out of the closet so this hits me out of left field, just like it does you. It’s bad enough all the people in the ‘know’ already are aware of his sexuality. I don’t think I could handle the public knowing too.”

  “Then maybe you should tell your boyfriend it’s not exactly a good idea, or the right time. I don’t think the female fans—or the male fans for the matter—would appreciate Scarlet Fever being anything other than a hard rocking band.”

  The white wine hit me hard since I’d had a banana and coffee for breakfast. “So, what has spurned this on? Him and Grant falling out?”

  “Probably.” Sasha refused to meet my glare as she smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her cream silk blouse. “I had no intention of marrying Grant if he planned to continue his infidelity with Will. I know they have been close for a long time but cheating is still cheating and they can call what they did with each other whatever the hell they want but they were being unfaithful to both of us.”

  “I suppose it’s helped Grant is only bisexual…” I sipped from my wine again. “I just don’t understand what the hell is going on but don’t you dare announce anything until I talk to Will and find out what the hell is going on.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” My sister glared at me with accusing and hurtful amber eyes. “You really couldn’t have thought I was stupid enough to not know what was going on when I’m their press manager? Do you know they were caught together at The Viper Room in the men’s bathroom? I h
ad to personally make sure that shit didn’t get out.”

  I opened and closed my mouth like a fish because there was nothing to say.

  “Did you think I was too fragile to know? I’m you’re older sister for Christ’s sake!”

  Sasha had never snapped at me and had always been the sister with the calmer demeanor. She didn’t fly off the handle or get upset over petty shit like I did so why was she acting out of control all of the sudden?

  “Be straight with me. What’s going on?” I paused and sipped from my wine before I thought twice about it and drained the glass. “It’s true, you’re their press manager so what the hell is happening that I have no clue about?”

  My sister was silent for a beat before she looked around Calienté. Her dark eyes were slow to settle on my face again but when they did, a look of contempt thinly veiled by a Mona Lisa smile greeted me.