Atonement (The Atonement Duet Book 1) Read online

  Mmm, there was none because if it was between me and this guy, I was so out of the running.

  He was tall, at least six feet two, as he was barely a couple inches shorter than Drew, who was a comfortable six feet four, and around one hundred and ninety pounds. Lean, he had nice features, alabaster skin, intriguing crystal blue eyes and flaxen blond hair. He wore a laidback outfit consisting of indigo jeans lightly on the baggy side but not slacker baggy with a band tee shirt from a recent The Pretty Reckless concert.

  “Oops, my bad, forgive my manners. Colin, this is my roommate, Deirdre Bardot, and Deirdre, this is Colin van der Meer,” Drew said.

  “Is this your idea of a fucking joke?” I asked.

  “W-what?” Drew replied. “I don’t understand your issue with my guest. The guy and I both happen to work days at Common Bean and nights at O’Shaughnessy’s next door. Calm the fuck down, okay?”

  “Van der Meer?” I questioned. “You know the surname of my goddamned shrink is van der Meer, so what I want to know is how is this guy related to my head doctor because I don’t find it the least bit funny!”

  Colin and Drew looked at one another before our newest guest answered, “Your doctor is my father, but Drew and I have known each other since you two moved here and he started working at Common Bean.”

  “Shit,” I whispered.

  I knew I had overreacted just like they’d expected me to, but how would I talk my way out of this one?

  Come to think of it, what the hell would two people who had so much in common have to talk about anyway? I didn’t want to hear about Colin’s various jobs over dinner, to be honest. This definitely called for some reinforcement because no way would I spend the evening with Drew and Colin on my own.

  “Sorry, I’ll be right back.”

  I nearly ran up the stairs to my bedroom and shut the door behind myself. What the hell was I going to do? I took a chance my sister wouldn’t be too busy and called her cell phone.

  “Deirdre? What’s the matter, honey?”

  “You know I wouldn’t normally do this and I’m sure you’re in a meeting—”

  “I’m on my way to one, so talk fast,” she interrupted.

  “Drew invited a new friend over, but there’s just one problem.”

  “Well, what is it?”

  “He’s doctor van der Meer’s son. I mean, what are the odds? Seattle is huge. This isn’t Tacoma. How could this happen?” I asked as I paced back and forth.

  “It happens all the time. Some people call it just something completely random and others call it fate. Why are you trippin’ so hard, sweetie? Damn, get a grip, girl.”

  “But he’s really hot and there must be something against…I don’t know…sleeping with your shrink’s son or something.”

  “What makes you think Drew asked him over because of you?”

  “Caitlyn, I’m almost one hundred percent positive that Colin isn’t gay or bisexual. Why else would be invite him over?”

  “Because they’re colleagues and friends who want to get together over dinner?” my sister asked rhetorically. “Mmm, he must be really hot if you’re contemplating an end to your friends-with-benefits situation with Drew. Listen, I gotta dash, but after I get off work, I’m coming over so don’t you dare let Mister Hottie leave, okay?”

  “Not on your life,” I responded before we mutually ended the call.

  Chapter Two

  It didn’t make much sense since this wasn’t the first time nor would it probably be the last that Drew would bring home a guest, and not necessarily for my amusement either. I still took a shower, towel dried my hair, and put on a nice pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a three-quarter length sleeve white peasant blouse.

  Afterward, I sat down before my vanity mirror and stared at myself closely. I was a very attractive young woman, but I wouldn’t consider myself beautiful either, at least not in a classic American-style. My skin was olive toned from my mother’s side of the family tree, and I had hazel-green eyes everyone bragged were my best asset. High cheekbones, a patrician nose, and slightly full lips finished off the facial package, but I also had gorgeous silky hair the color of sable that was naturally curly unless I flat ironed it, which I did at least once a week.

  I was model tall at five feet nine, which was an issue because most men were my height or slightly shorter. It was somewhat of a challenge to find men who had more than a few inches on me. Most of the time when I did venture out with friends, I opted for flats as opposed to the flashy Christian Louboutin or Yves Saint Laurent heels because I would be taller than most men in the bars and clubs where we hung out.

  I quickly applied a bit of concealer to hide the dark circles under my eyes, dark eyeliner and mascara, a bit of blush, and dramatic dark red lipstick, which enhanced my hazel-green irises.

  Satisfied with how I looked, I walked downstairs to find both Drew and Colin outside on the patio. They spoke and smoked animatedly. Perhaps I should have stayed inside, but I felt like having a bit of fun, so I grabbed my wine glass and joined them moments later.

  “Whoa! Look who got all dolled up,” Drew teased. “Expecting company?”

  “Nope, just Caitlyn. She said she would stop by after her last meeting of the day, so I suppose we could wait for her before we began dinner.”

  “That’ll work.” Drew stood. “Speaking of dinner, let me go check and make sure everything is okay.”

  He handed me his cigarette before he rushed back inside, and I stubbed it out in the nearby ashtray. After my father died, I had started up smoking again, but I was trying to keep my intake low since I was determined to quit once and for all.

  I looked up and met Colin’s gorgeous blue eyes. He stared back at me with an intensity I usually found uncomfortable. I smiled before asking, “So, are you one of Drew’s bi friends?”

  “No,” he responded as his eyes continued to bore into mine. “I love women and although I see a lot of hot men in my line of work, I have never been tempted to go there. We’re just friends, and he decided to invite me over. I heard you’re planning on taking a vacation to Europe.”

  “Well, I’m not sure yet,” I said in a non-committal tone, though I had every intention of following through with my trip. “Your father suggested it after everything I’ve been through with the death of my dad and…”

  Usually, I was very good at small talk. Although technically I’d never had a real job besides professional college student, I did a lot of volunteer work at the local soup kitchen and homeless shelter for battered women. It was part of my job to break down barriers, get the women to talk about their feelings, and discuss why they’d stayed in dangerous, toxic, and detrimental situations for so long before deciding to escape.

  I found the work therapeutic, mostly because my home life had been so ordinary, though my real mother had died at an early age. I felt safe in the knowledge my father and stepmother loved me very much, and I was luckier than most children thrust into a situation where they had to grow up with one parent who wasn’t their blood relative. I loved Jeanette and Caitlyn as if we were full-blooded relatives and couldn’t imagine them not being in my life.

  At the same time, I still needed an outside release, and a relationship would do just the trick. However, due to my father’s death, finding a man wasn’t exactly priority number one. Drew was enough for the time being but now that I’d met his friend, Colin, I wondered if I needed more than what I had previously thought.

  “I thought your plans were already set in stone,” Colin began in a soft, even-toned manner. “I do believe I agree with my dad, the good doctor that he is, that you need to get away from it all. It’s never easy losing a parent. My mother died from bone cancer a couple years ago. You might find it hard to believe, but my dad was useless in the situation. He really loved her and we’d already been through the whole breast cancer scare ten years previously. We just assumed she would be all right. Life is long and if someone had told me I’d lose my mom when I needed her most, I
would have said they were lying.”

  I tried to smile, but my expression fell short. “It’s been really hard. I was young when my mother died and Jeanette raised me so I still, technically, have a mother and my sister but…my dad was my rock. He supported me in every endeavor even when my mom felt like he was spoiling my indulgences and I should face up to reality.”

  Colin ground out his cigarette before staring into my eyes intensely yet again. “Did they ever catch the guy who did it?”

  I shook my head. “The police don’t even know if it was a guy. According to them, it could have been a man or a woman and they aren’t sure because no one saw anything. We don’t even know what kind of vehicle the person was driving. My mom spent a lot of money and offered a reward, but no one came forward. It’s just…an unsolved case. I suppose maybe that is why it’s been so hard on all of us because there hasn’t been any closure.”

  He offered a small, sympathetic smile. “Well, if you believe in karma, whoever did this will get what’s coming to them. It was a horrible crime. What kind of person could do that and continue to walk around as if nothing happened? It’s pretty disgusting, to be honest.”

  Colin clapped his hands together as if to change the subject and looked me over. The way he appraised me was enough to make me blush. I hoped my skin wasn’t the color of crimson. “Listen, I go to Europe every year, usually at the end of May. It clears my head, and I love to travel. How about we go together?”

  His question definitely caught me off guard. Why would he ask me when most guys his age went to Europe for only asinine reasons only guys could find the least bit entertaining: alcohol, dope, and all the pussy they could get their hands on. Taking a chick with him would only cramp his style, and although Drew and I had a friends-with-benefits arrangement, we’d also once been a couple. I wasn’t a friends-with-benefits type of woman. Our situation was unique, and it would never happen with anyone else.

  It had nothing to do with me being a prude and everything to do with me thinking sex was something special. I wasn’t naïve. I had a healthy sexual attitude that was appropriate for someone of my age. Sex was a part of life, and since I was already getting my physical pleasure from someone, I didn’t intend to take on someone else with such a casual and cavalier attitude.

  So many different issues arose when sex came into the equation and no matter how careful two people decided to be, there was always the possibility of pregnancy. I wasn’t the type who could ever get an abortion, though I didn’t judge friends who had made that difficult choice. Their hard-learned lessons had taught me I would never sleep with anyone I couldn’t envision as the potential father of my children. Right or wrong, Drew was a good guy and I knew if we ever did have that kind of error, he would stay with me, marry me, and help raise the child we’d created. I didn’t know many people who could offer that kind of assurance to me.

  If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure I would have slaughtered Colin with the weathering stare that crossed my face. “I don’t think so. I specifically think this is something I have to do by myself. I am not completely inept, you know, and I am not your average loud American. I have visited Western Europe plenty of times, and I think I can manage just fine on my own.”

  He swigged his Beck’s beer. Apparently, he wasn’t a “wine” guy either. “I think we might be having some communication issues. I meant I usually go by myself as well, but I think it would be cool to go with someone else. My itinerary is always pretty detailed, and I enjoy visiting pretty much the same places each time I go. Last year, I went to my grandfather’s birthplace in County Shannon and my grandmother’s birthplace in this small town outside of Frankfurt. It was amazing. This year, I want to stay city bound, but I plan to go to France, Germany, the Netherlands, and Belgium. Specifically, I was thinking I’d start in Paris, work my way down to Marseille and Nice, then go north to Strasbourg, take the train to Munich and go far east as Berlin, then head west to Hamburg, work my way down to Amsterdam and then to Bruges, go on to Brussels and then back to Paris for the last few days. That way we could land and depart at Charles de Gaulle and get rail passes for the rest. We’re both EU citizens, so we’ll get them for a steal if we buy them early enough.”

  I desperately wanted another glass of wine and wished I had grabbed the bottle of Pinot Noir before I’d headed out here. A little inebriation never hurt to soothe the awkward moments in a conversation with a hot guy I barely knew.

  “Well, looks like you have everything already planned out, so why do you need me to come with you?”

  “Well, for one, it gets lonely traveling on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I know great people in all the places I mentioned and we can catch up with them, but I was definitely thinking of staying in hotels this time around. Sleeping on someone’s sofa is great when you’re twenty-five, but I’m almost thirty—shit, come to think of it, my birthday is late July and I will be thirty—and it would be nice to travel with someone else. Sometimes it’s downright depressing, and you just don’t want to pick up some random person to fill your bed. Oh yeah, I speak Dutch and German fluently. What about you?”

  “French and Patois, the official language of the Lorraine region of France. My dad never did learn to speak proper Québécois, though I have been teased on occasion by some French people who say my French has a slight tinge of Québécois to it,” I explained as I leaned onto the table.

  Conversation between us seemed so easy, and the more we spoke, the more I was convinced this would be a great start to a wonderful adventure. Who wouldn’t want to jump on the first plane with this man, who literally screamed hotness?

  My gut told me this was classic Drew. He was setting me up because if he couldn’t be with me long term, then he wanted to know who ever I ended up with he approved of one hundred percent. It didn’t take that long to check on dinner.

  I adored a brooding, drop-dead gorgeous dark-haired guy as much as the next woman, but I also thought blond men could be as good looking and sexy. Colin definitely fit the picture of what every woman would swoon over, as he had that Gabriel Aubry hotness mixed with a dangerous hint of Charlie Hunnam bad-boy just lurking underneath the surface. The moment his crystal blue eyes gazed into mine again, it was as if I were the only woman in the world. The feeling made my heart beat faster and drove my hormones a little crazy.

  “Hiya!” a chipper voice exclaimed, breaking any sort of intimate mood between Colin and me.

  I turned around to face my sister, a sheepish-looking Drew behind her.

  He was so busted!

  Chapter Three

  No one could ever accuse my father of being prejudiced since his choice of wives proved he was, in fact, very versatile.

  My real mother had been beautiful and exotic, her family from the bayous of St. Tammany Parish in Louisiana. Caitlyn’s mother was a beauty with creamy skin and a cold disposition only the English could master with such ease. Gorgeous, blonde, and WASPish, Jeanette was as British as a bag of crisps and had only lived in America for the length of time she and my father had been married. Her family, like most English families, was a hodgepodge of English, Welsh, and Scottish with some French Huguenot as well.

  Caitlyn had taken her coloring from both our parents and possessed an impossibly clear peaches and cream complexion, my father’s gorgeous blue-gray eyes, and her mother’s natural honey-blonde hair. She didn’t play up her hair color with highlights. Therefore her hair was thick, shiny, and perfect, like the rest of her. Tall and thin, she and I were more or less the same height, but whereas I had some hips and ass, she was boyish and athletic with the exception of her chest, which was natural and complementary. I was jealous and would have given anything for her 32D breasts as opposed to my barely there 34B breasts.

  Her chipper personality and her good looks never kept her short of men, but she wasn’t a slut and like me, preferred to keep it safe. She and Drew had been playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse for years, but it had yet to lead anywhere. She was a serial
monogamist, and we’d conversed over too many cups of coffee and glasses of wine the perils of being a young single woman in the twenty-first century.

  She was still wearing her work clothes, which consisted of a smart black pencil skirt and a white silk blouse with a pair of four-inch Chanel heels she’d bought from the mall the former week.

  “Hey you,” I responded before she leaned over to hug me.

  “You haven’t been smoking, have you?” she asked.

  “No, but I put out Drew’s, so that’s probably why you smell it on me.”

  She smiled brightly and displayed perfectly white teeth. “Good.” Caitlyn’s smile and eyes drifted toward Colin. “You must be Drew’s friend? I’m Caitlyn, Deirdre’s baby sister.”

  Colin smiled back at her and shook her hand, though there was none of the heat in his gaze as there was when he looked at me. “Nice to meet you.”

  Drew had disappeared back inside the moment Caitlyn joined my conversation with Colin. Moments later, he reappeared with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc for Caitlyn since she hated dark wines, another Beck’s for Colin, a bottle of Pinot Noir for me and him, and three clean wine glasses. I stood hurriedly and helped him, handing Colin another Beck’s, pouring wine for my sister, and refilling my empty wine glass.

  We all sat cozily and comfy, deciding to hold off on dinner for another half an hour or so. Conversation flowed freely until my sister brought up the big question. “So, Colin, what do you do?”

  He smiled at her again in a good-natured way, and I realized I enjoyed the back and forth banter between them.

  “Well, what do you do, Caitlyn?” Colin questioned back facetiously.

  My sister smiled as her blue-gray eyes warmed with pride. “Well, let’s see. I attended the University of Washington here in Seattle despite getting accepted into Stanford University, finished school in three years and have worked for Amazon since I graduated. I’ve managed to work my way up, and I’m now a junior executive in the burgeoning and very successful division of KDP.”